Shakespearean Women: You Need a Sassy Gay Friend

Hooray for perpetuating stereotypes. Well, some of the time - when they aren't harmful, and when they are funny, especially when they involve men saying "betch."

As an avid Shakespeare afficionado, well, at least as someone who is dating one, I've often wanted to slap some smarts into quite a few of the Bard's damsels. Now, my feministic concerns are voiced, only in a much funnier way: by members of Second City Theater Troupe, as they shake some sense into Shakespeare's women in their amazing "Sassy Gay Friend" shorts. So far, there are three, one for Hamlet, Othello, and Romeo and Juliet, enjoy!







-K

Half-Red and Half-Blue

You lookin' at me? I love Sharing Machine, happy Friday everyone.

-K

Fish-Water: Rites of Spring in Minneapolis

Well, Shiverers, it is that time of year again: Spring! While I'm sure most of you (myself definitely included) are shedding layers, opening windows, and generally finding it hard to get any work done, there is one thing about Spring in Minneapolis that is, decidedly, less than awesome: the nastiness that is our tap water this time of year.

As many of you know, Minneapolis gets its water straight from the mighty Mississippi River. It is actually pretty cool when you think about it - it means that the river running by our cities makes up over 75% of our bodies. However, with the copious amounts of snow we tend to get every year, and the rate at which that snow melts off, these few weeks in March leave the tap water with the unfortuante smell and taste of an uncleaned aquarium.

And so, it has become an annual rite of spring in Minneapolis (not for you St. Paul-ites who get your tap water from lakes and groundwater): turning on the tap, filling a water bottle, and then directly spitting it back out because well, your mouth now tastes like sturgeon.

It may taste and smell bad, but believe it or not, it IS still perfectly safe to drink, and still infinitely better that drinking bottled water, which, surprisingly, is less regulated than what comes out of the tap and produces a ton of waste. So, here are some tips for still getting your daily allotment of tap-found H20 without feeling like you're going to gag:

-Use a Brita filter on your tap, or have a Brita water purifying pitcher to fill and stick in your fridge, this tends to get rid of the bad smell, although it tastes a bit funny still.

-Clean water bottles out with lemon juice to get rid of existing fishy smells, it kills the bacteria and makes your nalgene lemony-fresh!

-Don't drink it hot without purifying first! For God's sake, heating the water makes it worse, don't do it- I warned you!

No worries, in a week or so it will all be back to normal... until it snows again. I love you Minneapolis, I really really do.

-From the fishy-cities, K

Weekly Prank: Don't Actually Try This One At Home

A warning from the get-go: for all of you amateur pranksters out there looking for your big idea for April Fool's, THIS IS NOT IT. For this week's prank, I've decided to share a clip from what is, decidedly, an awful movie: Out Cold. However, despite the sub-par quality of the film itself, I have rarely even laughed as hard as I did when I saw this part of the movie. Zach Galifianakis, known now for being America's favorite facial-haired funnyman, plays Out Cold's often-drunk and frequently unconscious character, and his friends and brother frequently take advantage of his tendencies, with scenarios ending up like this. Enjoy, but again, I highly advise against causing anyone a potential heart-attack by actually doing this:



-K

America, You May Now Get Sick: The Top Ten Immediate Changes for Healthcare

 The Happy Healthcare Dance

Well, as most of you who do not live under a rock know by now, the historic new national healthcare bill passed last night. As one of millions who are either uninsured or who were about to be uninsured, I'm pretty pleased. For skeptics, the confused, people like me who have trouble sifting through it all, or if you're just curious, I've found a nice little list from HuffingtonPost of the top ten things the new bill will be doing immediately, and some of them are pretty cool:

The legislation will:

• Prohibit pre-existing condition exclusions for children in all new plans;
• Provide immediate access to insurance for uninsured Americans who are uninsured because of a pre-existing condition through a temporary high-risk pool;
• Prohibit dropping people from coverage when they get sick in all individual plans;
• Lower seniors' prescription drug prices by beginning to close the donut hole;
• Offer tax credits to small businesses to purchase coverage;
• Eliminate lifetime limits and restrictive annual limits on benefits in all plans;
• Require plans to cover an enrollee's dependent children until age 26;
• Require new plans to cover preventive services and immunizations without cost-sharing;
• Ensure consumers have access to an effective internal and external appeals process to appeal new insurance plan decisions;
• Require premium rebates to enrollees from insurers with high administrative expenditures and require public disclosure of the percent of premiums applied to overhead costs.

-K, the insured!

From MADATOMS: The Jim Henson Character Breakdown

Direct from MADATOMS, the Jim Henson Character Breakdown- every show/ movie and the more interesting aspects of their characters, which all fit into a few specific categories: http://www.madatoms.com/site/blog/the-muppets-character-flaw-breakdown

I'm a big fan of what is under "The Creepy One" for The Dark Crystal..

-K

Art for Language-Lovers: Wordle.net

In one of the best discoveries I've made since mixing garlic powder in with my tuna salad, I happened across an amazing website called Wordle.net. What exactly is it? Basically, you type in a block of text, a few words, or link to something on the internet, and it generates a very cool artistic word cloud, based on the frequency of individual words and phrases. IT IS SO COOL. I realize a lot of people might not be as excited about this as I am, but here are a few examples of the awesomeness:

My Brief Encounter piece from last week:

 

The lyrics to Dessa's song "551":

And finally, Emila's speech on the frailty of men, as said to Desdemona in Othello:

So seriously, check it out: Wordle.net, and try not to be amused!

-K

Everyman's Tale: A Brief Encounter

Nothing in life is easy. On any given day, a seemingly never-ending flow of junk makes the average person want to burrow down beneath the covers and call it quits. But to be truthful, most of us have it pretty good. Not to promulgate the proverbial parental lecture ("you don't know how good you actually have it, you're lucky"), but what if it was worse? What if a run-of-the-mill argument with your partner was coupled with the fact that you couldn't talk to anyone about it, what if no one could even know who your partner was? What if your heart was close to bursting with love and affection, but instead of yelling it from the rooftops, you had to swallow it down your throat so that even the tiniest shred of hope for that love wasn't ruined?

It is a timeless story- that of lovers simply being unable to love each other. Many of us have been there before, either experiencing it first or, if we’re lucky, secondhand. Although each story is different, the basic plot line stays the same. This familiar tale, with all its heartache and pain but also its simple joys, is explored in Noel Coward's classic film, Brief Encounter, which first appeared on screen in 1945, but was witnessed by yours truly last night at the Riverview Theater in south Minneapolis.

The film is a cultural icon, and I first brushed up against it in another of my all-time favorite films, The History Boys, the screen adaptation of Alan Bennett’s successful London play. In it, two of the precocious sixth-form grammar school boys perform Brief Encounter’s final scene, in defiance of the more “useful” things their shrewd new instructor is hoping to teach them. After the performance, the instructor looks impressed but awash as to what to say, finally settling on “God knows why you’ve learned Brief Encounter…” which is met with raucous laughter by the other students. It seems a fitting enough question at the time: “why Brief Encounter?” and I’m sure most of the audience, regardless of how schooled in 1940’s cinema they are, might also ask the same thing of the cheeky students. I was one of those people, until I actually saw Coward’s work in action, and realized why it was they chose to perform this scene, or, more importantly, why it was chosen for them by their warm and yet personally unfulfilled closeted English teacher.

And so, sitting in the 1960’s style auditorium at the Riverview last night, this seemingly insignificant bit of humor in The History Boys finally made sense to me. It is not only the story of Brief Encounter: two lovers, both married, finally find what it is they have been missing in their respective relationships, share a shred of happiness, and then go on with their lives; but of Noel Coward himself, and my own speculation on what the play must have meant to him – a gay man unable to live life as what he actually was. Indeed, while certain insiders may have known, Coward’s sexuality, during his lifetime, was never discussed, but swept under the rug, as many were. He was a successful author, actor, director, singer, and playwright- lauded in society and well-loved among friends, and yet, Noel Coward the man was never the same person as Noel Coward the public face. Just as his Brief Encounter lovers Laura and Alec were, he was forced to turn something beautiful and real into a thing that must be spoken of only in hushed voices, or not at all.  Coward’s own love, like that of his main characters, was a love that had to be much more familiar with furtive glances, skulking in corners, and quick rendezvous than the leisurely hand-in-hand walks in the park an un-adulterous or heterosexual pair would have been allowed. 

Suddenly, it all makes sense. Who better to write the quintessential story of impossible ardor than a man who had spent his entire life facing true love as something that was, for him, outside the realm of possibility?

As if the story needed to be any more gut-wrenching, this extra layer of background knowledge on Coward’s own life takes it to an entirely new level of heartache. As a viewer, you feel the love, the second thoughts, the first kiss that - had circumstances been different - would have happened a long time ago. When Alec and Laura meet for a second time, you feel the intensity of the first time she holds his arm, and at the end of it all, you feel the overwhelming desire to run after him on the train platform, wanting to leave your own life behind to follow his, or simply not to live at all anymore. Coward’s script turns Alec and Laura’s story into what a great movie should be- something real, and something that, regardless of individual moral standards or auspices, causes every single person in the theater to understand, not just to feel for its characters, but to feel like its characters. Gay or straight, married or single, no one is exempt from being Alec or Laura, no matter how hard or softly their story may hit in their own lives.

Digging on Dessa: A Badly Broken Code

There is never enough time in the day to give the Minneapolis/St. Paul music scene the credit it deserves. As much as the Twin Cities may seem to be a little Midwestern-bubble, we export talent like cheese and wine from the south of France. So, it should be no surprise that once again, one of our own has outdone not only the local music scene, but in my humble opinion, pretty much everyone else too. Dessa, the first and  only female MC in the Doomtree collective (POS et al), released her debut full-length album, A Badly Broken Code, last month and let me tell you, after just one listen, it was worth the wait.

First off, Dessa is one smart cookie. While her spoken word background could lend her to being the female, Midwestern, wonder-bread version of Saul Williams, she stands alone. Her poetry, unlike his, is less likely to deliver a forceful blow with one line and more likely to make a lasting impression by the sheer weight of lyrical intrigue, woven throughout each and every line, all fitting together to make a warm bowl of literary oatmeal that sticks with you long after the actual meal is done. There are, of course, some serious stand-out tracks, such as the autobiographical opener: "Children's Work," "Dutch," a crafty piece that solidly shows her Minneapolis hip-hop roots, and the chilling song "Matches to Paper Dolls," which not only showcases her lyrical aptitude, but her amazing voice as well.

What really stands out in Dessa's favor is the thought that has clearly been put into what exactly she says. It may seem strange, but in the world of hip-hop, what is said too often becomes less important than how it comes out. For Dessa, there are no throw-away lyrics; everything has a point and purpose, and the metaphors, literary allusions, and profoundly complex yet incredibly familiar stories she tells are in a league of their own. Who else could write a heart-wrenching song about playing second-fiddle in a relationship to, well, an actual fiddle ("The Chaccone")?

I've included links to some YouTube versions of a few tracks below, but if you enjoy A Badly Broken Code's intelligent ear-candy, I encourage you to go grab the album and help support one of the Shiver Cities' best.

-K

Comic-Book Superheroes in the Twin Cities: Would It Work?

Many of you may not know this, and some might, but I am an absolutely HUGE comic book fan. Anything superhero related, and you can pretty much count on me being on board. Yes, I have spent an entire evening creating the superhero personas of myself and my roommates with Marvel's super hero generator, and it was great, I'm not ashamed.

So imagine, much to my surprise, when I was tipped off to a recent McSweeney's article that discusses, albeit brifly, the potential success of America's most beloved superheroes, if they had been located in the Twin Cities.

The real TC superfolk: the delivery guys from Galactic Pizza

Arguably, the biggest problem for many of the superheroes is the Shiver Cities' lack of consolidated tall buildings: Batman could not stand atop a skyscraper in downtown Minneapolis and brood, and Spiderman would have a tough time web-slinging his way between Minneapolis and St. Paul, so he would have to settle for sticking to the side of a truck going down I-94, far less dramatic and incredibly inefficient during rush hour if you ask me. Here's the entire piece, enjoy:

By Keith Pille, courtesy of McSweeney's:

"On the Utility of Minneapolis-St. Paul as a Base of Operations for Various Well-Known Superheroes or Super Teams."

Spider-Man: Poor. The lack of a single, concentrated downtown area would greatly hinder Spider-Man's preferred method of transportation. Given that there's not much higher than three stories after you get out of the two downtowns, swinging from building to building isn't going to work. It's not difficult to imagine Spider-Man standing on Nicollet Mall in downtown Minneapolis, hearing that thugs have taken over the Xcel Center over in St. Paul, and cursing under his breath as he runs to I-94, forced to affix a web to the top of a bus and ride it across town.
The X-Men: So-so. Their initial problem would be that no one around here seems to have much of a problem with mutants. With no one trying to wipe them out, the X-Men would lose some of their edge. They would run the risk of turning into hypersensitive college kids who go around looking for the slightest excuse to be outraged.
They'd have more of a reason to stick around, though, after the inevitable burst of mutant jokes on the local classic-rock morning show. Those guys can be very cruel.
Batman: Also so-so. No real deal-breakers to Batman setting up shop here, but lots of annoying obstacles: lack of dramatic places to stand and brood over the cityscape; difficulty of driving the Batmobile at high speeds through some of the St. Paul street vortices (watch the ice on the road!); necessity of getting cozy with two police chiefs instead of one commissioner; and lack of a paralyzing, all-pervading criminal culture (although he'd be welcome to come to my neighborhood, starting with the three middle-aged fat guys who think riding little putt-putt scooters three abreast at 20 mph down Minnehaha Parkway is AWESOME).
Superman: No problem.
The Incredible Hulk: No problem. Hulk's in the Superman club. When your main thing is smashing things, location is less of a factor. Hulk could smash very effectively in Falcon Heights, for example.
Wonder Woman: Poor. People around here just wouldn't cotton to a woman dressed like that, especially one carrying a magic lasso. Well, some folks would like that quite a bit, but some would make a stink about it.
Aquaman: Most people seem to like him, but Garrison doesn't, so it's a no-go.


-K

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